Cliches 1

Mom clichés are everywhere.  In the movies and on tv, selling us stuff, and in the well-intentioned advice of our elders.  But some clichés are clichés because they’re just true.  Here are 5 mommy clichés that are, in fact, embarrassingly true.

Potty mouths.  I have never talked so much about bodily functions as I have since becoming a mom.  First it was her urine output in the hospital, then her first poop (meconium, yuck).  Analyzing poop for signs of illness when she was too young to tell me her tummy hurt.  Potty training – the bane of my existence – and accidents.  Now she emerges from the bathroom – because while I haven’t peed alone in 4 years, she demands privacy – and proudly states she has something to show me.

Mommy martyrs.  I truly believe that dry shampoo was invented for moms.  Restaurants serve huge portions to kids because they know mom isn’t going to get to eat her meal and will end up picking at her kids’ plate.  And kids will go to school perfectly dressed while mom rocks bed head and an old college sweatshirt.  Moms give up everything for their family – sleep, grooming, food (except chocolate), and even they’re sanity.  And the craziest part is that we’re happy to do it!

Spit as a stain remover.  Kids are messy, messy creatures.  And no matter how prepared you are, there will be times when you simply don’t have anything available to wipe up the messes.  I even have baby wipes shipped to me in bulk every month, and have still opted to lick my thumb and wipe away stuck on food (I hope) from Miss O’s face.

Because I said so.  The phrase that every kid hates to hear, and also one we all swear we’re never going to say.  I even had a friend remark that it was lazy parenting.  However, not every instruction, statement, or request gets an explanation.  Sometimes you just have to accept what mom says, like it or not, understand it or not.  That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

Yoga Pants.  There’s no disputing the amazing comfort that yoga pants provide.  They are the next best thing to, sometimes better than wearing nothing at all.  In the wardrobe world, they are the path of least resistance.  Everyone knows this, but somehow moms embrace it like no other group.  Not only do we acknowledge the comfort of yoga pants, we accept them as part of our daily wardrobe.

Of course, I could go on…

Using your sleeve as a tissue.

Thinking your child is genius, future pro athlete or model – and telling everyone about it.

Being exhausted all. the. time.

And, on a related note, caffeine!

Eating junk food in the bathroom or closet, wherever you’re more likely to get a minute of privacy.

What are your favorite mommy clichés that turned out to be true?  Share in the comments.

Mom clichés are everywhere. In the movies, on tv, selling us stuff, and in the advice of our elders. Here are 5 mommy clichés that are embarrassingly true.